The following was originally published in June 2020 in a weekly email sent to clients and colleagues.

It was while lingering over pictures from our wedding album that I first noticed it. Images of two people- vaguely familiar, beaming with endless optimism and amazing white teeth. Now 30 years to the day since Jay and I said “I do” I felt this tug-of-war between giddy celebration for one of the greatest gifts in my life and residual pain from multiple left hooks that life threw at us since that rainy June day in ‘90.

After polishing off our take-out meal (thank-you COVID), we plopped in our hammock, ice cream in hand. While wrapped in that cotton cradle, I learned Jay was feeling it too. Shared heartbreak and twin scars woven together with a primal and fierce love for our marriage, our offspring, and the beauty and messiness of this life. “Together, baby.”

Some have suggested good emotional and relational health is a pairing of both the beauty and the messiness of life. Because let’s face it, they both show up in life and relationships. Consider this a gentle nudge to believe that both can be present at the same time. And like always, be intentional in being awake to your life and finding your way through the beauty and the mess.